You know, I've never (well I still don't) have a problem with my friends dating each other (it was weird at first, I must admit) but when my other friends start to point out facts, being girls who are/have been in their shoes - when they tell me that it's possible that they will be jealous, just at the fact I'm around their other half more than them and whatnot. I guess I would kind of understand, but am I suppose to back away from hanging out with my friends??
Girl's feelings are fickle and hard to deal with - so .. . I just don't know??????

On a different note, I'm heading to Sydney in six weeks. So soon! I haven't even started saving OTL. I can't till I buy my flight tickets and accommodation anyway... somehow I'm hoping my parents will help me out with spending money. Can't wait for Junsu's concert~ hopefully this is the door for a JYJ or Jaejoong concert in Australia *o*

Then in November I have a Melbourne trip, Queensland in February .... too many trips for one jobless girl.

Anyway, recently my feelings have been all over the place, I don't even know why? sometimes I just wake up and feel.. sad. There's no other way to describe it to be honest. I suffered this throughout high school, I had some real shitty teenage years. After I finished HS I felt.. happy again. I don't want this to come back, these feelings - it drove me insane before. I felt so alone and nothing could help me (which is true, through that I learned that only I can pick myself up and move on - it took 4(?) years to achieve though). It's not as severe as before, but it makes me want to cut all ties with my friends sometimes (I know - horrible right) but I don't have suicidal thoughts .. like before. Wow it's really odd to think about it now, but I use to want to do that to myself almost everyday when I was like 15-17.
I don't know what's wrong with me.

I feel alone again.

Labels: haven't posted something like this in ages