ALSO I KEEP PUTTING 100% INTO FRIENDSHIPS
AND I GET NOTHING BACK
why am I always making the effort?

should I just let go of friendships?
I mean what happens, happens right?
I'll move on, they will move on?

Maybe new friendships will be formed?

I feel so sad and lonely, someone help me.
I just want this to go away..


I think about this so often? I just.. want a friend..

I feel so left out, why do I keep third wheeling friendships??
like its so obvious you guys like each other more and there's just me..

To be honest I thought we were tight, us 3 were close. But it was such an eye opener last night when I was there helping you out but knew nothing about what was going on.

You two are much closer. Third wheeling again.

I genuinely feel sad about this. I also feel lonely.
How come I just can't find a friend.. like a real best friend..

Your fucking reason is ridiculous, you're so dumb, like her.

I make 110% effort for all my friends and... i feel like i get like what 50% back?

I think its because they all have their own close circle of friendships
sigh..

I feel so lonely and left out of everything, I just want to hibernate and do my own thing..
(wow I need a job)

bye xoxo i hate life right now

life update

We aren't friends anymore. lol when will you grow up? im not mad though. Mad at one other.
All the shit that person has said about my group and I, when really she is the horrible one. Like who breaks up many friendships?? you will crash and burn because karma is a fucking bitch. disgusting, go and fuck 10 men at the same time why don't you.


Why do I have to make the effort for so many of my friendships?
like if i don't call you, you would never bother with me? hm
i finally thought i found my close like tight besties but lel they have their own group left out again
again im just.. here ..

oh and talk about besties do i even have one? lol.

I have my own valid reasons for why I have a strong dislike towards you. Why are people telling me it's stupid or she's just "sensitive" there is so much more intentions that lie in that one sentence "don't you think its rude she said that?"

I'm just so ???????????????

also this Luhan leaving exo thing hit me so much harder than I thought it would have. How does someone I've never met make me feel this way, how am I loving one so much when I probably don't know 90% of what he is really like. Sigh, Luhan and Kris.
How am I dealing.

I think I'm falling. Again. That dark hole is coming back.